Enlightenment- The Path of God/Goddess Awakening

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Fertilizer

The child here in my heart has something to say to you
And while normally I would keep my distance
I recognize that this must be spoken- this child’s truth.

You.
You decided to brutally deny and tear away from me my mother
Precipitating me to flounder in the world
You shamed me by exiling her and leaving me only a father.

You.
And this father that you so lovingly left to care for me
You ensured I was sufficiently terrified of him
While championing his erratic vacillation between love and cruelty.

You.
So you promised me safety from this crazed state of being
If I was willing to do a list of things that you
Held over my head always reminding me the slate was never clean.

You.
So carefully you ensured that I knew my body’s desires were traitorous
That I was by nature fouled and broken merchandise
And that only through enhanced interrogation could I remain virtuous.

You.
Strategically you fostered the confusion of literacy and then dyslexia
The books shoved before me always
Some words right and others wrong- creating an inner hysteria

You.
But most importantly and in such a calculated way
You taught me to doubt myself
And trust only in everything you say.

Bitter Lover from my past…I thank you for all of this
The gifts you have bestowed strengthened my heart and mind and now serve me well

I have risen up as a warrior and gone deep within to the tower to retrieve the Divine Mother
I disowned the father you bound me to and instead reclaimed the Divine Masculine within
I resoundly took your tablets of touch this and touch this not, and heaved them in the fire
And naked I danced around the flame- looking at, touching, and reveling in my body
And finally I returned your supposed sacred texts and contracts with fine print, to the archaic and outdated library of your own sadistic making
But most important, I trust Me; every thought and feeling and movement are mine
The God and Goddess have awakened within me and entered into ecstatic love-making
And my life is now a rolling orgasm of divinely blissful truth.

Normally I would conclude with a Namaste’
But the God I am seems to be blind, for it can see no God or Good in you.
So Religion, please know that with complete and utter love and serenity I say
Fuck You.
Oh…and again, Thank You.

~Jonathan Webb

I started the draft of this blog post last month on Mother’s Day. Now we are in June with Father’s Day quickly approaching. I remember all of the individuals out there on FaceBook posting their love for their moms and honoring what they had done for them, and I am sure similarly beautiful tributes will go out to dads in a couple weeks. I think that’s a great thing- there are plenty of individuals in the world who have really strong relationships with their parents. I hope to have strong relationships with my kids as they mature into adolescence and adulthood.  I want to get to meet the real them as they shed more and more who their mother and father are, and open up more fully to the realization of the true self.

A lot of that depends on me though.

So many parents out there are unwilling to deal with the fact that their children have grown up, individuated, and moved on to hopefully bigger and better things. I mean, I feel like I have really moved on from what I was raised with and can only hope that my personal voyage pales in comparison to what my children will realize. That was something I remember my own mother teaching me- that her job was to ensure that I became an independent individual. She did a good job of that, and I hope I can carry that legacy on to my own children.

This issue with not being able to let go is not just relegated to the parent-child relationship though. Possessing the skill of allowing one’s self to be just that, one’s self, is really evident in all relationships.  People struggle with letting go of a friend, a sibling, a loved one, a job, a philosophy, a religion, a persona; the list could go on and on and on. Think about divorce for a moment. The roots of divorce are often grounded in one partner’s inability to deal with and honor the other partner’s maturation process. Certainly there are many good reasons for divorce, but sometimes it just comes down to feeling like you aren’t married to the same person. News flash- you aren’t. And really, is that what you wanted? You wanted to stifle your mate, place them in a plastic bubble and ensure that they made no attempts at further maturation, growth, or personal transformation? Is that what you want for your partner to have for you? I hope not, because it’s called abuse.

We often don’t think of abuse in these terms. We like to classify abuse as the experience of raging and screaming and hitting. But, an abuser’s power hangs on one principle- maintaining the status quo with the target. If an abuser can maintain the status quo of the target by keeping them in stagnancy instead of dynamic change, then the abuser maintains control. This is all indicative of an individual who has no order within their inner world. They see their own perceived frailty and weakness in another and exploit it so that they can control something in their outer world. Many of us have encountered the paradox of the bully. The bully is usually seen as invincible until someone stands up to him/her, and suddenly the cowardliness of the inner world is revealed.

Ultimately, all of us have played the role of victims in relationships. In our society we like to hold on to our victimization and really cherish it- in some ways it seems to serve as a rite of passage in many circles. However, we are much less forthcoming in the realization that there are times in relationships where we have played the perpetrator or abuser as well. It pains us to realize that we let our own ego protect us from our shadows so well that it projected them onto someone else that we could then outwardly attack. But just as there are ways to change ourselves and discontinue the role of victim, there are ways to transform our inner and outer worlds so that we no longer serve as perpetrator or abuser.

The first step in this transition out of abuser is to take ownership of one’s inner world. When I can realize that the control I am attempting to exhort on the lives of others is really the control my ego wants to exert on aspects of who I am, great awareness comes.

I had to undergo this in one form with my son about a year ago. My oldest is extremely gentle, sensitive, and emotionally aware of others. He came in with these; these are intrinsically who he is as an incarnation of God/dess. However, there was a part of me that was becoming increasingly irritated about his crying over this or that. Now mind you, I have never bought into the idea that boys can’t cry, but lord knows I can barely deal with whining from anyone- male, female, young or old. I was irritated, and the irritation was growing with intensity.

Now I had a few choices. Foremost in my mind was that I could call him on it and try to make him change. Now mind you, helping him to find other ways to express his dissatisfaction with whatever is taking place is a critical thing. We don’t live in a society where tears are appreciated in a board room, a baseball player who strikes out isn’t permitted time to cry out his disappointment, and a lawyer isn’t allowed to cry in the courtroom if she loses a case. This is simply a function of our society- a time and season and place for all things. The problem wasn’t that I wanted to teach him other ways to channel the emotional response. The issue was that I was personally irritated and wanted him to stop irritating me. There’s a big difference, a huge difference. You can imagine, I realized this was an important opportunity for me to go within and find out what was taking place with my inner world or inner life.

Lo and behold, I found myself. I remembered how I had been controlled as a child. I was the oldest, and the responsibility fell on my shoulders to keep myself and my brothers in check. I had two parents working, one who was working and going to school. One was depressed half the time and the other had a Personality Disorder. There really was no time for me to sniffle about this or that. I had to buck up and own the role as eldest. In hindsight I am immensely grateful for that life contract for it has helped to shape who I am today. But, with my perceived victimization came the subconscious reaction that manifested in my own unhealed emotions: jealousy for what our oldest child can do and the freedom and privileges he has- even to express his emotions freely. With that jealousy came resentment. And of course with resentment came the desire to manipulate and control.

The key is awareness in relationships. I could have just ignored any kind of realization that what was really going on was a reflection of my own inner world. I could have stuck my head in the sand and pretended like it was my son’s fault. But when you really commit yourself to living an aware experience here, the copouts aren’t really options anymore. You realize that if you are going to have a healthy relationship you have to be healthy yourself.

Being healthy is no easy task. It requires personal responsibility, awareness, openness, acceptance, flexibility, patience, persistence, forgiveness…need I go on? We want these things in our partners and in the people we hold relationship with, but we can’t have it with them if we can’t have it within first. I always tell people who are seeking their soul mate to first find it in themselves. When one becomes their own best friend, their own best lover, their own cherished mate, then they will soon find it in the outer world as well. Be honest and respectful and trusting and supportive and honoring and unconditionally loving of yourself, and you will have those very things in your relationships.  Heal yourself, and the relationships you have will heal.

So today, take a look around you and see who surrounds you in life. Thank the angels in human form for serving as a mirror to who you really are. Thank the demons in human form for serving as a mirror to what you have the opportunity to heal in your own life. Then thank yourself for having the wisdom to orchestrate this whole experience for your highest good. Finally, remember that the angels and demons are just illusions- God/dess as you and me in masquerade. When you hold the remembrance that when you are in relationship with others you are really in relationship with God, your life and all in it will be reborn.

I couldn’t help this week blogging about how I narrowly escaped the Rapture scheduled for the 21st of May, and now apparently rescheduled for October 21st. I was concerned folks. You see, God and I are down…down as in copacetic, chill, homies…etc. The Goddess and I are down too- she is my Ma and I recognize that, so we have this beautiful flourishing relationship. But you see, being down is one of the reasons as to how I was able to avoid being raptured this time around. And being interested in my fellow human beings, I wanted to share the how-to in avoiding a rapture.

Now, I have to say that this is all based on an assumption that you don’t want to participate in the rapture. It doesn’t mean you and Jesus aren’t cool, it just means that maybe you don’t really dig stringed instruments and aren’t keen on the idea of playing harps all day in adoration to the Great White Bearded One.

So following is my Top Ten Ways to Escape the Rapture. Because so many are afraid of heights as I am, I assume that this will be a popular posting, and I fully expect it to go viral. If it ends up on Letterman as one of his lists please let me know- I don’t ever watch. You can reach me on Facebook as Jonathan Webb, on www.MyUpSource.com, www.Golden-AUM.com, and on twitter as Shivanagatha.

(Please note before reading on. I make reference to “Christians” throughout this. I do not mean the few, and I mean very few, who actually walk the path of Jesus and follow his ancient instructions. I am referring to those who embrace the sick tradition of religion and all of the dysfunction that it has to offer.)

You will successfully escape and avoid rapture if you:

10) Understand the power and use of metaphor
If you understand that the Bible is based on a rich mythos, as is much of esoteric and spiritual texts, then you realize that a return of Jesus might just be metaphorical. You may even go as far as to say that there is a literal return of Christ Consciousness- born in any of us who are willing to undergo the birthing process. But that might be heretical, huh?

9) Embrace Non-Judgement
The whole rapture is based on judgement. Those who are good (i.e., good bible, God-fearing Christians) will be raised to Heaven, while the rest of us who haven’t bought into ridiculousness of it all (or freed ourselves from it- can I have an “amen”!) will be burned. When we reject the ideology of judging each other’s worth, then we are no longer qualified for rapture.

8. Support rational introspection
To be a good Christian, thereby being raptured, you can’t really support the notion of introspection. There is a Devil, there is evil, there are workers of darkness. If instead, you recognize that the Devil is just a convenient mirror to project the shame of our own raging ego onto, then you my friend, are not eligible for rapture.

7) Think for yourself
To float upwards requires the good shepherding of a guru, prophet, famed minister, or the such. Now, the really good Christians, typically born and bred in Mississippi, Alabama, South Caroline, etc, will be the first to tell you that your ONLY source of truth is the Bible. However, they have become so indoctrinated into their system of belief that they fail to remember that the Bible was written originally by gurus, prophets, and famed ministers, and, well…others too. So, if you believe that you can converse with God in a very direct and fulfilling way, then you can make other plans on future rapture days.

6) Take personal responsibility for salvation
Rapture requires that one express faith in Jesus as the one and only Christ, and that through him our “sins” are absolved. There are those who have gone astray and suggest that just like the Devil and the ego projection onto him, there is also a projection onto Jesus. This projection is the realization that we are just as holy, pure, and perfect as anyone else, and that sin is nothing more than a forgetting of that truth. If that’s you- no rapture.

5) Believe we are already in heaven
Well, enough said. Actually…I will say something on this. Our experience is what our experience is. Christians believe they were kicked out of the Garden of Eden. I was not, and I know many others who were not as well. I simply forgot that I was in the Garden, but as soon as I remembered my Garden flourished for me in indescribable ways. So, if this is your belief, you are not only not a candidate for rapture- you don’t want to be.

4) Believe in equality
If you believe that your essence and your spirit is better than another’s you are qualified for rapture. If you are better than millions who were born outside of Western Society (read Christian Society), then you are certainly qualified. If you are better that Gandhi and a host of other powerful and historic way-showers because they were born within different borders that held different cultures and customs and beliefs, then you are qualified. However, if you are like the Good Samaritan in the Bible, who sees himself in all regardless of creed, color, caste, or religion, then you have disqualified yourself for rapture.

3) Believe that woman are important
I am sure many Christians would argue that women are of value, I mean come on, they have Mother Theresa, right? Oh wait- she was Catholic and fundamentalist Christians claim Catholics are not Christian and many claim that the Pope is an antichrist. Sigh. On any account, if you suggest that there might be a female counterpart to God, or that possibly what we call God would be better called Goddess, then for sure you will be sent in the opposite direction of where the raptors are headed.

2) Believe in a loving God
Again…enough said. If you believe in a loving Father that doesn’t set his children on fire for not saying a cute prayer that claims Jesus as your savior, then you will not be raptured. And frankly, while I have been flippant throughout this whole blog, I have to say that this is the most offensive point. The general concept of the Christian/Judaic/Islamic god is nothing other than a satanic lie conjured through black magic in order to manipulate and control the masses. If there were anything evil in the universe, it would be this demigod who births children and then sends them to hell. As a father, I find this whole concept utterly deplorable, and I pray for those who through the power of thought and intention have created this monster of a god, for this may be the very being that they meet in the next life. We are powerful and hold within ourselves the very energy of creation. What we choose to believe is on the other side is likely what we will see. Those who have conjured up the White Bearded One can have him…and keep him. I choose unconditional love and acceptance.

1) Believe in your own divinity.
Psalms 82:6   I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.
John 10:34    Jesus answered them, Is it not written in your law, I said, Ye are gods?
If you believe the Psalmist of the Old Testament, and Jesus himself, then friend, you miss out on the rapture. Instead of flying through the air to meet someone else, you will fly through the inner worlds to meet yourself. What an amazing experience that will be! On a side note, when Christians try to claim that you are blasphemous because you assert your divinity, just remind them of what the ruling religion at the time of Jesus said about him too, and what ultimately led to a crucifixion. Christians seem to have a difficult time recognizing that much of what they have created is extremely similar to what Jesus was trying to overcome with the dominant religion in his time.

In closing, don’t be discouraged, and don’t feel that you will be alone. More and more of us are finding out that we will not be raptured, and realizing that we don’t want to be either. So, lets have a party. In fact- I have a great idea! Once the Christians are swept from the Earth (I mean “raptured”), lets all have strategic fire ceremonies around the world honoring God and Goddess in our lives, in order to fulfill that part about the Earth being covered in fire. Now THAT would be soulful rapture!

About a month ago I was asked by Bloggers Unite if I might be willing to dedicate my May15th blog to the topic of compassion. So, having compassion for their cause (wink-wink), I accepted the request.

When considering compassion I of course had many things that came to my mind. I could talk about Ghandi and his efforts to resist occupation in peaceful and compassionate ways. I thought of Martin Luther King and his work to promote non-violent protests during the civil rights era. I even thought of Jesus and his final biblically recorded work of extending himself through compassion to burn through the karma of others. The bodhisattva Avelokateshvara came to mind, standing there with a thousand arms designed to reach out in compassion to all of humanity.

But even with all of these amazing examples, I could not escape the calling of my Mother. You see my Mother is the ultimate beacon of compassion. She breathes compassion and acts only in love and tender kindness. Her only desire is to see Her children become all that they truly are. Her mission is to endow us with power to pass through any difficulty, our eternal self untouched and unmarred.  My Mother, and your Mother is Kali. At moments like this, it feels almost sacrilegious to refer to her as Kali- for the name Kali is incredibly personal- it is how she manifests in anthropomorphic form for us and is therefore unfitting for who She truly is as the Expanse and Being of the Universe. But from another vantage point, the name Kali is incredibly powerful and sacred- the name Kali is the feminine form of the word time or eternity (kala), as well as the color black. She is the timeless and eternal void, from which all is born, and into which all will eventually dissolve. When people ask, Where does God come from?, I promptly tell them Kali- for the gods and us are simply sprouts from her deep and rich fertile soil of the Cosmos. Where does Kali come from? This can hardly be comprehended- it is difficult to talk about the essence of who and what we are. Am I my molecules? Yes. Am I my cells? Yes. Am I my atoms, neutrons, electrons, etc? Yes. Am I the energetic grid of quarks that powers it all? Yes. Am I even that which the grid of manifested energy comes from? Yes. I am birthed from Kali, my Mother. She is all, is in all, and ultimately all is within Her.

Now, you may agree with me to this point, and you may not. I will leave that argument to you. Out of the field grows not just one plant, but a variety of flowers and trees and blades of grass. Some blades of grass will grow up with a belief that the Sun is its source. Some will grow to believe that the earth is its source. Others yet will know water as its source. All of these are correct. All of these are right. All of these lead to happiness. As for me, I want to find my rooting in the Source of the source- that from which the Sun, earth, and water find their Source.

You may doubt Her compassion though as you scroll back to the topic and view the image once again of the anthropomorphic form of Ma Kali. She looks gruesome. Well, she at least looks that way to people of the west who are unfamiliar with the symbology that she carries and conveys. While a severed head in one culture denotes some sort of barbaric evil, in another culture it denotes freedom.

Here is a quick run-through of the things that stand out when looking at this form. There are many depictions of Kali and styles differ, as do the implements She carries. Here are a just a few of the most common.

Severed Head: Kali comes not to destroy the ego, which serves as a very effective guide here in the physical world, but comes to show us the separateness of the ego and the power it tries to claim in our lives. By looking the ego squarely in the eyes, we find the line between being an awakened and individuated soul, and being someone driven by the illusion of the world.

Ceremonial Bowl : The process of authentically looking at our ego is difficult. When we engage in this deep level soul work, our Mother catches our blood, sweat, and tears as offerings to Her. She accepts the offering of those who are dedicated to personal transformation.

Garland of Arms: These arms represent all the outward doings of the world that we engage in. When we come to an awareness of who we really are and our relationship to the divine, we lose our arms of greed, selfishness, striving, etc. Our Mother wears them proudly- ornaments of our awareness and enlightenment.

Garland of Skulls: These skulls represents Her children liberated from illusion. She wears these symbols again as ornaments- a testament to Her pride in Her children that have chosen to relinquish the standard that ignorance is bliss. It also serves as a reminder that in death all return to Mother, and stay there in loving care, near Her heart.

Scythe/Sword: This weapon symbolizes how she does her work. Kali’s work is fierce and fast. Human nature’s (ego’s) response to needed change is through resistance and doubt and procrastination. When we invite Kali in however, She does not desire for us to suffer. When the bandaid comes off, it comes off in one fell swoop.

Blood Red Tongue: Just as fecal matter is returned to the earth and is transformed into something healthy and vibrant and new, the energy of our old and ineffective ways are returned to Mother to be mulched up and transformed into the growth of something healthy, vibrant, and new. Our Mother laps up our fears, pain, and disappointments, and out of these grows food for Gods…food for Us.

Raised Open Palm: This mudra means have no fear, and it is an announcement that she comes delivering salvation from our own neuroses and insanity as humans.

Lowered Open Palm: This mudra means I come bearing a blessing for you. This blessing is liberation from illusion.

Standing on Shiva: Shiva, who is the embodiment of Truth, Consciousness, and Bliss falls to the ground when Kali enters the scene. Although he is seen as an omnipotent God, his power is futile to the movement of Kali as she dances forth liberation and enlightenment upon the earth. Without her movement within, even the gods fall away.

Once when leading a group through Kali practice I had a student express that the closer she got to Kali, the more she felt like Kali was a “bitch”. I had to laugh. Of course she is! If a child, whether yours or someone else’s, begin to wander towards a busy street into traffic, would you gently and softly call him to return to the safety of the sidewalk or would you swoop in fiercely and yank the child out of harm’s way? If a child were about to place her hands on a hot stove would you in an angelic voice beckon her from the stove, or would you run and snatch her out of harm’s way? When these happen in the lives of our children, we often care little that they might think we are mean for being momentarily rough. We don’t care because we know we just saved them. We don’t care because we were acting out of pure love and compassion.

Our Mother loves us. She will swoop down and fiercely save us, if we allow Her. She will not apologize, because her motives are birthed from love and compassion. So it is our choice. We can choose to hold onto that head and those arms, or we can give them to our proud Mother as adornments.

As for me, I choose compassion for myself, and therefore give myself to the care of my Mother. Certainly, through her love and compassion I can fully evolve into who I AM.

I learned something new over the weekend I found it simply fascinating. And, knowing me, you are probably safe in assuming that whatever I learned has some type of spiritual connection…at least for me. Here it is folks (drum roll!)- I learned that there is more than one process of metamorphosis and that insects can go through either what is called a complete metamorphosis or an incomplete metamorphosis. For the purposes of the blog, I will refer to these as event-based (complete) and gradual (incomplete).

Most of you, like me, are probably very aware of event-based metamorphosis in insects, especially of the caterpillar. The caterpillar, after fattening himself up really well, spins a cocoon around at least part of itself for the event to take place. After a period of time, it emerges as a butterfly. Cool. Do you know the process of what actually happens though, for a butterfly to emerge at the end? I didn’t know this until I was at a butterfly farm in Peru, where I got to take a close-up look at Blue-Morphos.  The metamorphosis process begins indeed with a caterpillar eating itself into adulthood, and then going through a molting process where it looses its skin. What is left is a hard shell that is referred to as a chrysalis. This chrysalis acts as a protective shield as metamorphosis takes place. As it was explained to me, the cocoon is not a place of rest for the caterpillar- but a torture chamber of sorts.

The metamorphosis takes place as digestive juices begin to flow more freely within the caterpillar and in essence, it begins to eat itself alive. Still living, the caterpillar literally disintegrates, with only a few protective parts of it being spared the destructive process. These parts then have markers that reach out to this soupy mix of digested organs and recreates a new body- that of a butterfly. The chrysalis is broken out of after the butterfly, a completely different animal, is ready to emerge and has the strength to do so. This event-based (complete) metamorphosis happens only once in the life of an insect, and so is an all or nothing experience.

Gradual (incomplete) metamorphosis is a different story however. In grasshoppers for example, the process begins as a larva emerges from an egg. It looks nothing like it will as an adult, but it doesn’t go into hiding to go through its change. It simply grows and molts over and over again. It grows legs, it grows distinct body segments, and when it has grown to big for its covering, then the covering begins to split and it is shed. By adult stage, the insect typically has wings, and the molting process is complete.

As I listened to this and read about it, I couldn’t help but think of individuals walking the path of personal transformation. However, what I have found is that there are three types of metamorphoses that individuals undergo: Event-Based Metamorphosis, Gradual Metamorphosis, and Mixed Metamorphosis.

Event-Based Metamorphosis
This is the type of dramatic metamorphosis that most humans romanticize.  Oftentimes we think, if we could just take that one magic pill everything would change.  However, it doesn’t ever come in pill form, and it’s not all that magical.  If anything, the process is torturous and might best be described as a death experience.  Just as the caterpillar’s digestive juices eat through its own organs, the one who goes through an event-based metamorphosis will go through a death experience where pieces of her life literally disintegrate before her eyes.  There are many archetypical examples of this process.  Jesus went into a desert for 40 days, fasting, and toward the end of the process was confronted by the archetype of Lucifer.  Out of this event-based experience Jesus emerged as a Christ.  Likewise, Siddhartha, after undergoing years of self-deprecating spiritual practice, sat under a Bodhi tree, only to be inundated by Mara.  He too was tempted with all sorts of worldly things, which he overcame and like Jesus emerged a Buddha.  Another example of this comes out of the life of Moses, who simply attempting to care for his flock, ended up entering the presence of God.  Through this dramatic interchange with the Divine, Moses came out of the area with a new understanding, a new call, and a vision of who He was and the work he was to perform.  None of these were pleasant experiences and they were certainly frightening at the very least.  The beauty of these event-based experiences is that they did bring forth rapid transformation. Many would argue that the event-based experience was actually a culmination of other slower and gradual processes, but let’s examine that in a moment.

Gradual Metamorphosis
Gradual Metamorphosis is the process that most humans undergo.  While not as overwhelmingly painful as the event-based metamorphosis, it is nonetheless a series of mini-deaths that take place.  Here the human being grows to the point where he realizes that his current skin, or covering, is too small for the expansive nature he has become.  Through a death-defying maneuver he breaks out of its skin (molts) and emerges as a new being.  And while this process takes a longer time, it nevertheless brings about the same results.  How this human being starts out and how he finishes the journey looks very different.  What was once the larva or maggot now is a fully-formed adult with wings- capable of flight.

Mixed Metamorphosis
While mixed metamorphosis is not a type of transformation that insects go through, we are not insects.  We come with a different level of consciousness and have the ability to have a wider breadth of experience.  So in one’s life an individual may experience an earth-shattering event-based metamorphosis.  At times this event-based metamorphosis comes on unexpectedly in the form of a near-death experience, the death of a loved one, a natural catastrophe, or something else that sends an individual inward through the process of suffering.  In this process major aspects of the ego are dissolved, although not obliterated.  The person then emerges with a new sense of self, a new understanding of the Cosmos and his interrelatedness with such.  However, living in the physical world requires some semblance of an ego.  And so while major parts of the ego are disintegrated, they are not obliterated.  Those parts often redevelop as different ego appendages; the ego simply shows up in different ways for this now more conscious being, and the hope is that these new expressions of the ego are more conscious and in the role of servant as opposed to dictator.
As was stated though, there are not only happenstance ways that this occurs.  This can also take place through calculated effort.  One of the ancient and still practiced ways that this takes place is through the process of a vision quest.  In a vision quest the ego and physical body are cut off from food, worldly pleasures, communication with other egos, etc so that the person has a dying-off to the world.  Through this the Spirit and Consciousness of the individual are able to awaken further and expand, enabling one to gain a greater sense of his connection and sameness with the Cosmos.

Whether the process is unexpected or purposefully orchestrated the individual must live in the real world.  And so to combat this the individual, in his awakened and aware state, will choose to undergo a series of gradual metamorphoses.  Understanding the vision of his life that was made known to him through the event-based metamorphosis process the individual is then able to engage in spiritual practice, growing himself larger and larger, reaching those pivotal moments where he has to choose to either stay at his current level or break free from his skin, molting into a new life and a new expression of Beingness.

The point in all of this is that we can choose to transform. And whether the transformation is gradual or sudden, or in all likelihood a combination of the two, the key is transformation. We weren’t born to stay in an egg. We weren’t born to roll around as larvae. We were born to have wings- and take flight.

The Tower, Tarot image by Rene Marcel Riviere

As I sit down to write, a million flashes of this and that, sights and smells, concepts, beliefs- old and new, images….they flood my mind and I think well this may not bode well for the writing process. Yet again, it may.

Traditionally, Jesus was an important figure in my life. This was someone in whom I found love, compassion, and personality. I liked the character Jesus even more so because I did not care for the Christian god I was raised with. In fact, Jesus made my conception of god slightly tolerable. The Christian god was the old bearded man who segregated himself from his children, only to reintroduce himself at the very end of the world to let them know if they were going to end up in heaven or hell. It mirrored too well the dysfunctional relationship I had with my own father and, and why in the world would I want eternity of that? Luckily, while Christian, the particular religion I was raised in offered a view of a non-traditional multi-layered heaven which, without going into detail, was a relief knowing that I was not going to have to spend eternity with this Heavenly Monster…er….I mean Father.

(I do have to insert here that while I am specifically referencing Christianity, I mean any religion that seeks to control people through fear and oppress one’s understanding of their own inherent divinity. So, if this reads more personally for you by inserting Judaism, Islam, or any other typically Patriarchal and limiting belief set, then please do so.)

Jesus represented many ways of being in the world. He showed me the meanings of being divinely receptive, humility, divinely submissive, etc. But make no mistake, he also showed me what it means to stand in strength, to be a proclaimer of divine truth, and how to forge forward regardless of another’s agenda. Ultimately he was the embodiment of MEEKNESS- the ability to stand in one’s own power in a humble manner.

Unfortunately, when I walked away from Christianity, I walked away from Jesus too. It is almost like the perfect piece of pie at a picnic. In and of itself, the slice was perfect, but there were too many ants… too many flies…too many maggots. I knew I could scrape off those things and eat just the center portion, but my stomach didn’t have the strength. So, like many I know, the baby went out with the bath water.

While visions of a Second Coming as Christians hold and propagate the notion don’t fit into my understanding of our Universe, there is a part of me that wishes he would return. There is that part of me that wishes he would come and reweave ropes into a whip and clear out the moneychangers from the temple. I wish that he would come back and tell the Neo-Pharisees and Neo-Sadducees about their lies and misunderstandings. I am sure there would be the Nicodemus types who would realize the error of their ways, but be it pessimistic, I believe that most would be unwilling to give up the notions of heaven and hell, paradise and damnation in exchange for love and openness and acceptance and embrace. Part of the human experience is the insatiable desire for power and control, particularly over others, and generally due to one’s lack of mastery over their own life.

The thought occurs to me that I have to take ownership for what I see in the world, because some portion of my mind assisted in it creation. By so many of us walking away from Christianity, we have allowed those who profess Jesus with their tongues but in their hearts are far from Him to claim ownership over him. In some ways, I feel like Peter who denied him three times. I have deserted Jesus in a critical period of time on the planet, when we need him more than ever. His teachings, along with great teachers of both old and current times are integral in our global transformation into a time of great spiritual awakening.

What I do know about the Second Coming, or Golden Age of Enlightenment is that there is an anti-christ. This powerful figure (and likely it is an enormous group as posed by many theologians) is literally an anti Christ.

Do you know the Greek usage of the word anti? It might fascinate you to do a search on the Greek etymology of the word anti, and in what other ways the word anti is used in the Christian Bible. For those of you who are not researchers, here are a few examples taken from www.theholdemans.com.

1) ye are risen up in your fathers’ stead…

2) The Lord hath made thee priest in the stead of Johoiada…

3) I have given the children of Levi all the tenth in Israel for an inheritance…

4) thou shalt find a piece of money: that take, and give unto them for me and thee…

5) For this cause shall a man leave…

6) Because he hath said…

These are just a few of the many places where the word anti is used in the Bible, and then translated into a variety of other English words. Want to know what the Greek word anti means? It can mean 1) against, which is commonly how it is used amongst Christians who are unenlightened and are far more interested in control than truth; it can mean 2) in place of because the original is gone; it can mean 3) a fair exchange of and similarity to what is being exchanged; and finally it can mean 4) in comparison or likeness to.

So, I guess what I have to say is this: “Hello, my name is Anti-Christ, how are you?” I hope your name is Anti-Christ too. I hope that you are in opposition to the idea that supposed salvation from a judgmental god is based on the merits of another and that this is true because of a lack of inherent divinity. I hope that you too can walk in truth as Jesus did and actively promote what is right and fair and honorable for humanity. I hope that you can say that in many ways you have a similarity to Jesus as he held unconditional love for others. Finally, I hope that you are a receptacle of Christ-Consciousness and stand in the meekness of that.

If that’s you, then maybe you are the Anti-Christ too! In the end, if we can amass enough Anti-Christs in the world we might actually see a Second Coming, or a Golden Age of Enlightenment- a time where people are far less interested in empty and dead traditions, and instead choose to invest themselves in Truth. What a Welcome-Back party that would be!

*originally written April 3rd, en route from San Diego to LA.

I recently had the opportunity to attend a writer’s workshop. It was an exhilarating experience, in that it not only dived into the craft of writing, but did so in an uplifting manner- a soulful approach. The presenters consciously encouraged each participant to ascertain their own truth, and write from that vantage point. All I can say about that is I am fully in support of anyone who encourages another to stand in their own truth. What I really want to talk about however, took place prior to actually sitting in the workshop.

There was certainly planning I had to engage in so that I would be able to participate fully in the experience. I had to make sure that I had flights booked and lodging in place. I had to make sure I had cash on hand for needs that arose. But, the culmination of the preparation truly lay in one thing- packing. Because I was attempting to be economical, I had to pack light. If I didn’t want to check a bag at the airport, I would need to pack light. If I wanted ease as I took the 45 minute bus ride from the airport to the train terminal where I then took the 3 hour train ride to the hotel, then I certainly needed to pack light. If I wanted to make the walk from the train to the hotel with ease, then I was going to have to pack light. And, if I was then two days later going to repeat this whole process in reverse, then I truly had to pack light.

So I did.

Now for you this may not be a big deal, but you have never seen me pack. A couple years back when I was traveling frequently for an organization I worked with, packing light was not in my vocabulary. I had suitcases, large ones, that I filled. I filled them with everything I thought I could conceivably need. First and foremost- shoes. See, I needed black shoes to go with black oriented outfits, while I needed brown shoes to go with brown oriented outfits. But it didn’t stop here. I needed black shoes and brown shoes for more formal events, and then black shoes and brown shoes for casual events. This was further exacerbated if it was winter time. You see, in the summer I could ensure that one of my casual pairs of shoes was a sandal so that I could get to a pool. But in the winter where sandals outside just didn’t work, I needed that fifth pair of sacred foot coverings in order to go swimming. This meant that the sandals would have to be packed and not just worn as I traveled. Amazed? Don’t be. And before you ask if I understood the metaphysical cause behind shoes related to walking your path, the answer is yes.

Did I understand that this was insane? Yes, certainly I did. Did I choose to end the insanity? No. Like most people who grapple with a variety of issues ranging from compulsive packing to- well, pick your poison…I explained and rationalized my behavior and the benefits of it. I explained repeatedly and proudly that while I had multiple bags, that I was prepared for anything. You see, what if there was that formal event to attend? What if I did want to sleep to music, I would need those speakers. What if there was a morning I woke up and really wanted my favorite green tea? What if I needed my five favorite decks to do a reading for someone who might request one. Oh, and of course I needed one of my Kali statues, a good rattle to clear out the energy of a hotel room, an essential oil to help me stay engaged in meetings, a good book for me and a couple of magazines if I got bored with the book, a gift for a friend, and the list goes on and on and on.

So I imagine most of you are laughing right now. And while on the surface you are laughing at my insanity, what is really going on in the undercurrent of the laughter is the recognition of someone else’s insanity mirroring your own. Harsh? Yah, I know. Bet you aren’t laughing now…unless you are like me and appreciate dark humor.

On this trip I packed light. I still brought a book and one magazine. I wore one pair of shoes and packed one pair of thin sandals. I packed only enough clothes for what I truly needed, not 3 extras of this and that. And as I sit here on the train looking out at the ocean somewhere between San Diego and Los Angeles, I marvel still at how little I actually used. I haven’t touched my laptop until now. I never did pull out the one deck of cards I brought. I actually only spent about a half hour in the book, and no time with the magazine. But all in all, its improvement. I had no bag to check. I have a backpack and a small hand-held bag. I packed light for the trip and by allowing myself some simplicity my way was made easy.

So I if you haven’t gotten to the heart of this yet, the question one might ask could relate to the human mind’s obsession with carrying and heaving everything with us. Like one of the Lil’ Rascals, we tote and tug our red wagon with all kinds of worthless crap: our story that everyone else is tired of hearing; some way we’ve been victimized; the way one’s ancestry was brutalized; the guilt over one’s ancestry brutalizing another; the inability to be enlightened; our jealousy, our fear, our anger… And just as poisonous, we have all of our victories, our dreams, that one spiritual experience, the gold medal, the high school football game… We tug it all behind us, trying to trick ourselves in to believing that What I am holding is ME. Well, that big ol’ wagon-o-crap behind you isn’t you. In fact, it never was.

The beauty of packing light is this: we can unpack it just as easily as we packed it. We can decide the story that supports our victimization is no longer going to take up space. We can decide that our ancestor’s legacy is one about teaching us dignity instead of resentment or shame. We can decide that we will give up the millionth retelling of the winning touchdown or perfect prom in high school because the past is the past. We can decide right now to take the crap that we have allowed to overtake our energies, and simply flush it.

I don’t mean to be crass, but I do mean to be frank and honest. When it comes down to it, like attracts like. If you want more of the same, then keep doing the same. If you want something different, then it may be time to do something different. And if you are going to do something different, if you are going to make a real change, why not do it big? Why not start right now? Why not be that thing that you know your soul longs for?

And so I send out a prayer. I know you as a light person, an empty vessel. And because of the lightness and emptiness of your being, I see you walk your path and live your life with joy, ease, spontaneity and contentment. And as you live your life in this way, I see that emptiness being filled- filled with Light. I know you are truly perfection- Light filled with Light.

Namaste`

Hello Friends-

Wanted to send out a quick email to let you know that this blog is going to become inactive. I will be posting all of my blog material on www.MyUpSource.com from here on out. Additionally, there are others on the site who are blogging, and it is strictly about enlightenment, consciousness, spiritual evolution, etc.

Hope all of you are well!

Jonathan
www.MyUpSource.com

The Illumined Self
(Part 1 of a Multi-Part Series)
“Effective Work with The Ego”

As we enter the New Age, more and more individuals are taking an analysis of their ego. Traditionally, the student walking an esoteric path has been carefully taught that the ego does not serve them; that the ego is a dangerous enemy within and keeps one bound to the natural inclinations of the body. While in some respects this is accurate, the statements are often based on unenlightened views of polarity. Coupled with the supposed damning qualities of the ego, instructors have also taught about right and wrong, good and evil, light and dark- as if Yin and Yang never did meet in the center as the purest manifestation of the Divine: I Am THAT, I Am.

Alternatively, another choice might be to consider how the ego serves us. Who is it that ensures your have a job and money to pay the bills? Who is it that drives you to eat well, take a bath so that you don’t stink, answer appropriately when your boss isn’t thrilled with your performance, change the baby’s diaper though you really aren’t in the mood, etc?

I remember reading once where Wayne Dyer proposed that ego actually meant Earth Guide Only. While this is true, my desire would be to place the attention on the “earth guide” portion, as opposed to the “only” part. If indeed the ego is an earth guide, would it not behoove us to pay attention to it and even at times honor it for its work?

The first thing that must be considered is the purpose for us having an earth experience. There are powerful philosophies regarding the idea that the world is simply an illusion or a dream; however, at the ego level of awareness these theories or not helpful. With the ego’s level of awareness, as well as its counterpart’s level of awareness that will be discussed in a later posting, the lessons are very clear. We come here to learn a lesson. This lesson comes in the form of an experience, often multiple experiences, and requires one to stretch and grow. The key here is that the lesson can only be learned through the vehicle of the body and its interaction with other bodies on a seemingly physical earth.

So, what does all of this lead us to? Maybe the tug of war needs to come to an end. Perhaps we are moving out of the era where we demonize our inborn inclination to thrive in the world.

A key expression of the Divine- one that I feel is the ultimate expression of the Divine, is Kali. Kali in great power and authority as the Goddess of the Universe who indeed IS the Universe, stands before us anthropomorphically and presents us a head. Many revile at this scene, and rightly so. Individuals who find this depiction distasteful are generally culturally unaccustomed to the symbolism contained therein and/or they are fearful of seeing and recognizing the ego for what it is.

As opposed to demolishing the ego, as many of our religious contemporaries and ancestral teachers would have us do, Kali begs us to look it in the eye. We spend too much of our time running from things that have been demonized, but that would actually serve us well and propel us into higher forms of awareness. Using the power of polarity, Kali holds our ego out before us. Separate and detached, we can see the power of the ego more clearly. We see clearly that the ego deals with its mortality. Being an earth guide “only”, the ego will not transition with us into the world of spirits. When we die it is really the loosening of the ties to the body, and the dissolving of the ego. So first we become aware that the ego is truly impermanent- that it is not part of the Essence that we truly Are.

The second thing that we must see when we gaze into the eyes of the ego is that it actually serves us, and serves us well. As an earth guide, the ego works non-stop to ensure that we are having a successful earth experience. Now, this statement must be taken in context. If by successful we mean the fulfilling of spiritual contracts, karma, and related obligations- then no, the ego itself is not initially concerned with these matters. Instead, the ego is concerned with the physical affairs of earth life. The ego assists us in regulating our behaviors so that we can function appropriately within our social constructs- relationships, family, work, recreation, etc. And without these social constructs, how could we ever learn the lessons we have signed up for? These all serve as the schoolhouse for our lessons about love, forgiveness, acceptance, trust, etc.

Next week, I will share more about the work about the ego, how it serves us in everyday situations, and how we can help it to come in right alignment with our spiritual walk. Until then, experiment with the form of Kali, and simply allow her to share with you the ego that resides within you. Although simply calling upon Ma Kali is sufficient and easy enough to interact with her, using her bija mantra might assist in the quieting of the mind to allow deeper and greater access to her as Divine Source. The bija of Kali is the mantra kreem. Repeating kreem for a few minutes can potentially open a reservoir of power and insight into your earthly relationship with the ego.

AUM KREEM!

For a while now I have had on my mind one of the things I remember fondly about my hometown. St. Louis, like all places, has its share of problems and successes. One of the things I loved about the place is how quickly you could mediate between the city and the country. It seemed to take only a twenty-minute drive from downtown and all the diversity of people and buildings and dialects, to suddenly arrive to secluded and forested areas. The yin and yang of St. Louis is something I love- but back to the one thing that keeps coming to my mind as of late. Lightening Bugs.

You may know them as fireflies. I think I called them that too sometimes. For many others and myself we called them lightening bugs. In the summertime, right after dusk as the sky would grow heavier and heavier, they would begin to come out. The calls of the crickets, so intense at times, would almost seem to proclaim the lightening bug arrival. Almost as if stars were dropping down right close to your skin, these bugs would suddenly flicker on and off.

For whatever reason, when I think of the lightening bugs I remember most readily being at one of my grandmother’s house on my mother’s side. She lived in the suburbs and there the bugs seemed to love to gather and show off with a beautiful light show every evening. I so clearly remember readying a jar with other family members. We were given one of grandma’s canning jars and holes were poked in the lid to provide air. I remember at times wanting to make sure that the lightening bugs I caught were comfortable. I knew how it felt to be trapped and limited, and I didn’t want that for the bugs. I would carefully gather sticks and leaves and lush green grass to put in the bottom of the jar so that they would have natural things to sit and rest on and even eat. As a child I was convinced that they ate leaves, and who knows, maybe they do. When you are living the creation of a myth, the only things that matter are the facts of experience- not the facts of science.

So after the jar was ready my brothers and I would go about catching these dancing points of light. They would go in the jar so carefully, and after we had a dozen or so of them we would proclaim them our pets and us their caretakers. It was explained to us repeatedly that we couldn’t keep them forever, that they would die in the jar. In response we would look at them for what seemed to be hours, but in the adult world was probably only thirty minutes. Finally we would let them go, and eventually pack up all of our stuff and head home.

This is one of the fond memories I hold onto from a childhood that was often so full of pain. Like many others, I didn’t feel loved or wanted. I felt that the love I did receive was based solely on how good I was or wasn’t at the moment. I lived out the childhood experience of so many people who I have tried to help heal and love into a peaceful resolution of their own life and their connection to Spirit.

I know that I caught lightening bugs in lots of places, but I find it fascinating that catching them at my grandmother’s home is the experience I remember so vividly. This was the home that my mother was raised in, and within its walls she too felt unloved and unwanted. A place that should have been safe for her was not. And like most typical humans, she recreated what she was accustomed to in essentially the same home with different walls and the same people with different skins. And with all of this pain that she consistently tried to bury, she would bring us to this childhood home where we had the chance to play with lightening bugs.

As I sit and reflect on all of this, I have to wonder what God was thinking about all of this. But then I wonder, was she really thinking about any of this at all? Is this world simply a big open jar with air holes in the lid? Has she made sure that we have grass and leaves and small twigs in order for us to have a place to sit and rest on occasion? Has she gathered us together in this jar to stare at us in the dark, twinkling, just for the pure ecstasy of it all? Has she observed us for what feels like an eternity, but for her is only a matter of a few moments?

Maybe we are fireflies. Maybe we are simply in the dark, doing our best to put on a good show. And maybe, just maybe, our whole show is based on our ability to shine in the night sky.